The following was sent to me by a very dear friend from Facebook. She is sharing her story so those who find themselves in similar situations will know that there is always hope and loving solutions available. If you are pregnant and in need of help, please contact one of our pregnancy help centers. The national hotline number is: 1-800-712-HELP or text HELPLINE to 313131.
On February of 1998, I found out I was pregnant by an older man that I had met at my job. At that time, I was a newly divorced single mother of a two-year-old boy, and working two jobs to make ends meet. After my divorce, I got very depressed and felt lonely. I, then, made some unwise decisions. I was not very interested in this man, but he was nice to me and gave me the attention that I had been wanting. Looking back, I was yearning for a ‘father figure‘ or someone who would take care of me.
One day, I contacted a close family member to confide in her. I was in dire poverty, and considered living in my car. My relative suggested an abortion, stating, ‘nobody would know.’ Once I told the Father he was not upset, but disinterested, he said he was too old and told me I should get an abortion; his children were all grown and he’s not going to do it again. The option of abortion was the last word I wanted to hear. I finally decided to pray to God. I poured out my heart to Him, stating, ‘God, I can barely take care of myself and my son; I cannot do this.’ I remember breaking down and crying out to Him, stating over and over, ‘Please tell me what to do.’
After, I had the urge to look through my phone book. While searching through my phone book, I came across ‘Abortion Alternatives’ and found ‘Birthright’ and a Crisis Pregnancy Care Center in my area. I thought I should give them a call,but I waited a few days.
Though I was baptized Catholic in my early 20’s, I fell away from my faith, interestingly enough, I drove past the Church, St. Michael’s in my hometown. It had a huge sign out front that read “Pregnant? Need Help?” This caught my interest. I walked right in, full of embarrassment & nerves. I didn’t know where I was going or what I was doing but God did! I saw a bunch of people in a small room in the corner of the Church praying. So, I thought, prayer wont hurt and maybe someone here can tell me who to talk to.
They had out their rosaries,I had none. I was feeling more foolish by the minute & considered leaving and asked myself, “what am I doing here?” I listened and tried to follow their prayers. I knew the simple prayers. I was caught off guard when I discovered they were doing a rosary for the unborn! I can’t leave now. They will hate me and shame me I thought. When it was finally over I waited and approached a lady and said I really enjoyed the rosary and had a question – I was so nervous! Uh, yeah, I actually saw your sign out front and I’m pregnant, I just blurted out. I probably cried. She gave me a big hug and she asked if I knew how far along I might be. I said maybe a month. She took out of her purse a tiny plastic doll (what I thought it was) and said your baby is probably around this size then. She gave it to me. She asked if I knew about the Pregnancy Center. I said not really. She set me up to visit the Pregnancy Center here locally. You know what? I never knew her name, but I will never forget her.
The Pregnancy Center helped me find many resources and were very kind to me. This is where I also read about the adoptive parents. Reading about this family, I found that they lived in the hometown where I grew up, and that they had been longing for a baby. I knew then they were the right parents for my baby.
I learned they had many of the values I had, had been married over 20 years, and waited and longed to have a baby for about 20 years as well! They nearly had a baby twice, but in each case, the birth-Mother changed her mind and decided to parent. That is her right to do so, but I fell in love with this couple like they were my own family. Before I ever heard the term ‘love them both’, they truly did love me and the baby! I also saw how they interacted with and loved my toddler son. I never considered any other family, I knew right away they were the One!
At five months pregnant, the adoptive mother attended an ultrasound appointment with me. We were able to find out together that I was having twins! During the appointment, the adoptive mother said that she saw an extra little hand across the ultrasound screen as if one of the babies were waving and saying, ‘Hi, I am here, too.’ Finding out that I was having twins confirmed my decision of adoption, that I could not care for three babies alone, and I wanted my twins to have a father in their lives.
The twins were born in September 1998, only three days before my due date. Even though I had a lot of trouble during the delivery, close to having a blood transfusion and hysterectomy, the twins were born perfect and healthy.
To be 100 percent honest, I almost changed my mind and decided I wanted to parent at the last moment. Oh, how I didn’t want to break their heart, but when I was very close to having a hysterectomy, I thought I am still so young, these might be my last children. God had His hands in all of it throughout. I am happy and grateful that I decided to place them in an open adoption with this loving family.
The journey was not always roses; no journey is. There is grief and loss and pain, but there is also beauty, and trust and love and family! To this day, the adoptive parents and I still remain friends, and my birth children are loved by me and many others.
I was pressured to abort and my situation was then considered a ‘crises pregnancy’.
I didn’t know how or what to do. I wanted them to have everything and to have a Father too. To know that they are loved by so many!
Never given up-only given More; Given Life; Given a family Given Hope and a Future – (Jermiah29:11) Given Love
As birth Mom, I am blessed with Open Adoption, the ‘adoptive ‘Mom said to me – you will never have to worry about them or wonder about them being off in the wild blue yonder (her words).
They are soon to be 21! Happy birthday to these precious young adults. I love you with all my heart. I hope in sharing my story that especially those being pressured or considering abortion will heed my words below:
Please don’t let anyone pressure you to abort your child!
You are a Strong Mama and there are many wonderful resources, (like Pregnancy Centers) that love you and your baby and will help see you through.
If you know it is not possible to parent or unable, whatever your situation may be, remember that adoption is a loving option. Life is a beautiful gift and adoption is an amazing journey.
Thank you for reading. God Bless. And Happy 21st birthday to my birth twins!
You never regret choosing Life! ~Birth Mom Mindy